The real goal of meditation was to come home to parts of our self we had lost in order to become fuller human beings. To gain serenity, peace, joy, increase our ability to love. The real goal is to become more complete. Most of the pain is caused by the part we have lost, that we are trying to regain through meditation.

We cannot reject a part of our self without paying the price. Our alienation is an illusion. Modern living tends to repress our soul and spiritual life. Information is all there. We choose to cut it off.

Carl Jung said he never saw a patient over thirty whose problem was not basically a religious one and who was not cured when his religious problem was solved. This corresponds well to the Indian idea of changing your whole life at forty.

Without vision, without meaning, our lives decay. Laughter, love, religious awe, beauty can only be understood by accepting the validity of this part of our being. It can never be understood by an analysis – Freudian or behavioristic – because it ignores it.

The mechanics and techniques by means of which we live are given to us by our mind that relates to the world of many. It is relationships that make our identity real and meaningful. It is identity that makes relationships possible. If we live in both worlds, the mind and the soul, we know truly our lives are valid. And we are not an island; we are part of many. If we live in a world of multiplicity, we are forced to believe. We are each an island alone in a land of dead dreams.

If we live connected – our minds to our souls – we feel that out of this world, we won’t fall. If we live disconnected, we lose our sense of identity which explains the mass conformity sweeping the nations. Without relationships that are real (meaning the mind and the soul are involved), we lose our sense of identity. The more we ignore our soul and/or soul-mind connection, the more alone and vulnerable we feel.

Anxiety is caused by being cut off. Anxiety often leads to hostility. Often we try to counteract isolation and anxiety by joining or forming groups in which all share common enemies. This is visible throughout many cultures and extremely visible in the youth culture. Our energy is then focused on destruction because we have an enemy. We need our comrades in order to have protection so we don’t feel alone.

"Friends are acquaintances who have the same enemies." Often in these groups, we lose the core of our ethical relations to others. The ethical core of "if we are all the same, I will treat you as I treat myself" or, as Christ said, "Love thy neighbor as yourself." and "Love your enemies."

In these groups, we have determined an enemy. We treat them as less, as dysfunctional, different or even useless humans. We turn them into nothing more than pieces of meat with machines for minds. We assume they are only after us and therefore we must destroy them before they destroy us. This is one of the major reasons our world is in the state of emergency it is in. We have forgotten one of the most important lessons man could learn. "We are each our brothers keepers because we are each others’ brothers."

"Where does God dwell?"

"Wherever man lets him in."

"All things contain inner light. No place is empty of God."

Because of the lack of openness to this, our perception increases our loneliness and fear which closes the channel further.

Then, we try to fill ourselves with power, material, wealth, sex, drugs and so on as an attempt to feel safe, worthwhile. But it fails because it does not respond to our real need. We are closed to that need. We have locked our soul and spiritual needs in the far corner in a cage. So, the only answer at least is to a disconnected mind is more money, more material goods, more fame, more sex, more drugs, more raises, more women who want me, more Prozac, more TV, more travel, more more. We hope that some how, some way we will find happiness, find peace, that all these things will make the pain and fear go away.

Guess what? It won’t. It doesn’t. It can’t. And we are killing each other and the world trying to make it, trying to stick our finger out to our human nature and creation in order to justify our ego-centered material driven world. We can heal or destroy. We can love or hate. We van give or take. We can seek the best or the worst. We can inspire or drain. We can protect or kill. If we live life only half alive, chances are at least we are walking dead men, and more likely, we are part of the darkness, the shadows, the machine that is taking the energy of our souls and feeding the beast of destruction.

Let’s look at a phase. "Render unto God that which belongs to God and unto Caesar that which belongs to Caesar."

Now, forget your first thought. We aren’t talking dollars and change. Rather, the soul and the mind. If we render to our world, our mind, our soul, we lose our balance for the soul cannot be fed with worldly things. If we have our soul in place, it makes the world much easier to take because we see both sides of the coin. We can open the door and see beyond the superficial, beyond the temporary, beyond the fleeting moments. Time is an illusion. Yet, it is all we have. If we fill it with mindless, soulless things, we are never really alive and/or real. Rather, we are nothing more than mass moving in a circle, like a hamster in a cage.

If we ignore our soul, we are not only destroying ourselves, but humanity. As we continue to attempt to replace our souls with material things, we are destroying the earth. In America, we are destroying our bodies with obesity, cancer, alcohol, drugs. We are draining the world’s resources at a rapid pace and it is seen in your reflection. As we continue to die inside, our bodies reflect it. As does our planet with the increase in pollution, disease, lack of food, and so on. If we don’t stop, we will quickly flush the human race down the toilet. Ay after day, it becomes a larger and larger problem. More and more is taken, used, abused and then, once all energy and life is taken and thrown back, the wastelands grow. Not only physically with the amount of garbage, but humanity is being thrown into the dumps as well. Spiritually, we are throwing our souls away.

Imagine a room. In that room stands a man behind a counter. It is a store. In the room, there are many things like candy, eye candy, ear candy, nose candy. Everything is beautiful and bright, colorful, lovely, sweet. It is like a carnival. All your fantasies or at least material worldly fantasies. Now, you were told this store was a trap – an illusion – and not to believe everything you see. But, the person who told you this was old and couldn’t understand how time has changed. You want to fill your mind with something and so you pick something because of its outward beauty and/or because it’s sweet to taste. There are no prices. So you go to the counter. "How much?"

"It depends."

"What do you want? Because each person want something different and the price depends on you, not the object you desire," the man answers and smiles.

"So, I want this," you say, pointing to a small trinket. Sweet, cute, entertaining. You figure it wouldn’t cost much and it really wasn’t that bad although the thought of not having it made you feel like you lost something that mattered.

"You want it?"

"Yes."

"Then take it, but I need a piece of your soul."

"Okay, how much?"

"I can’t tell you that because you already know."

Part of you knows you should put the trinket back and walk away, but part of you wants it."

So you ignore the voice inside. "Okay, take what you wish." You feel a little tinge of uneasiness but no pain.

"I’m putting it in a jar and it will be your jar. Each time you come and I give you these things, I will take a piece and place it in the jar. The jar is in a room and the only way to get to it is long and hard and I’m waning you is not fun or easy, but I will give you fun and pleasure."

You leave with your trinket. You love your trinket. It makes you happy. For weeks you tell everyone and they tell you how great it is and how wonderful it is. You earn their praise. Then, one day, you show it to a new boy.

"What is that? It is ugly. How can you love that? It’s not good enough. What a joke! You’re serious? You think that piece of crap is worth anything?"

You sit hurt, sad, confused angry. "But...but..."

"It’s worthless. Look! It went out last week. You see because this came out."

He pulls out a beautiful new trinket, only bigger.

"See," he sneers.

You feel dumb, worthless, let down. You run away and hide in your room. The world hates you. You’re nothing. Empty. Useless. Then, you get up and rush back to the store hungry for more. For something bigger, larger. The man looks at you.

"Back so soon?" You don’t hear him. You only care about finding the most beautiful trinket. You find something bigger, brighter, better.

You throw it on the counter. He smiles as he takes another piece. This time, you don’t even feel it. Back outside, you’re happy again because now you are better than the boy.

For years though, at one point or another, your trinkets would age, fall apart, become nothing. So you kept going back. Then, one day, the man looked at you. "I’m sorry, but there is nothing left for me to take. You’re empty."

"But I need another or else I . . . I . . . won’t be good enough. I’ll lose everything. All my friends, my job, my love, my value. I . . . need this. Please."

"I’m sorry but I can’t give it to you because you’re empty."

You run out and feel dead. Nothing matters. You go home and you look around. Walls filled with trinkets. Stacks. Mountains of them. Staring back at you. Laughing. You feel void, dead, broken, helpless. The black hole. You get up and go back.

"Help me. I need more."

"Then bring me another soul because I’ll give you credit for helping me sell my trinkets."

You leave and rush to the streets. "Hey...you. I have something for you. It’s beautiful, wonderful. It will change your life, make you happy. Just come this way."

So they follow you and then it continues. It grows. It repeats. Many people come. Each one gives. The store grows. More and more trinkets. Larger and more beautiful. Larger and larger. In the back, it is a massive warehouse extending beyond your perception. Full of jars. You feel a chill. A silent scream louder than anything you could physically hear because it comes from inside. The sound never stops. It only grows as every day more and more jars are put on the walls.

If you stop everything and sit in silence and get rid of the trinkets, of the noise, the distraction, you can hear it because all the souls are screaming and they are lost without the mind, the body. You can see how much a person has lost in their eyes. You can hear it if you listen or see it if you look. But most avoid it. They ignore it because it’s painful. It’s uncomfortable. It’s hard.

Some wake up. Some grow tired of the trinkets. Or, once they are so dead, they can’t see and they beg for another way. Some are touched by those who are still attached to their souls. Some learn to hate the store master and grow more aware of the never-ending cycle. They decide that they want their souls back, but they’re so hard to get because in order to get your soul back, you have to return all the trinkets and it’s hard because you’re afraid of life without them – without the safety you feel with them stuck in your ears and eyes and mouth.

But it happens. You go back with a trinket. "Excuse me. Here. I want to return this and get a piece of my soul, please."

He looks at you. "No you don’t. Are you crazy? What will you be? What are you worth? You’re nothing. You’ll be a loser. No one will love you. You don’t want to give it up. It will hurt. It will be very, very painful. And no one will care. They’ll laugh at you, fool!"

You listen and you want to cry. You’re confused. Part of you says he is right and to listen. The other part is your soul now screaming. It’s far away, but you can hear it in the distance. You know it’s real. "No. No. I really want to give it back."

"Well, fine. There is the door, but you see the road there? There are many holes, many things, many others who will try to stop you. To hold you back. To push you down. Not to mention the pain of feeling again and hearing the truth. It’s hard and you won’t make it. You can’t. It’s cold and long and pointless. Because you’re worthless and dead already."

You stand and before you see a long road with shadows and stones, ice and isolation, chills crawl up your back. You look and you hear your soul screaming. He looks at you and offers you a beautiful room filled with food and wine, music and women, gold and cars. "Come on, you don’t want that. You want this"

You hear your soul. "Run. Run away. This way."

You look back and long for the comfort but something deep inside pushes you through the door.

Each day is a war, but each day you feel more alive. Day after day you conquer the walls. You swim through the rivers. You are hungry at first, craving the sweets, the trinkets. They follow you, hunt you, make you cry, but slowly you find new things. Your soul starts coming back and it hurts like when your leg falls asleep and then comes back alive. You know the pain is good.

Then, one day, you are at a beautiful place and it’s real. And you’re enjoying it from the inside out. Your soul is wounded but whole. It’s laughing, smiling, alive. It feeds on the light from its creator and one day, the soul says, "You know. I’m never hungry unless you give me away and put me in a jar where I can’t breathe, I can’t speak, I can’t eat. As long as you and I are together, you’re complete and so am I. You can’t disconnect me. I’m not meant to be cut off. Because without me, you are only half real. I’m the connection to your energy, your love, your creator.

"Without me, there is no communication. It’s a dead line. No flow of energy. I’m a plug connection. I’m the sole provider. Don’t let them tell you I’m not. They want me destroyed because they want to take and use me to feed their machine, not you. If I’m not feeding you, I’m feeding their destruction and that is why I was screaming. I didn’t want to, but I was forced to. I was screaming inside because it hurt so much. It was like bleeding all the time.

"But it’s okay now. I’m back where I need to be. Doing what I was meant to do. Do me a favor though. Don’t forget me again because it hurts even more the second time around."

THE END

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