zen-baby 03
Sleep and Environment
Ok, we will start with the extremes: first look around your house. What do you own? Now, what do you need? Many of us collect things we don't need and we don't use. We buy them on impulse; we buy them because they are hip; we buy them because we think they are cool. Before we know it, we are living in a room full of things which make us feel chained to cleaning to taking care of them.
I used to own so many things. Then I met a man who I worked with often. He had more money than anyone I knew, but he owned nothing other than computers, cameras, books, a futon, some clothing. Yet he was one of the most real, open, honest and free people I knew. He didn't worry about cleaning his house all the time; he didn't have to take care of things. I used to spend hours and hours there. I would spend days there because it was like being in a sanctuary. I felt free there. We would talk till all hours in the morning, we would cuddle, we would make art, we would listen to music, we would drink coffee, we would wander outside, we would dream, we would have strange ideas, we would connect. Now, much of that happened because of the environment. There was nothing else to do except connect to each other and our own dreams and thoughts. He inspired me when I left Atlanta and moved to New York. I left many of my things behind. I got rid of the things I didn't need. Then, I lived in a huge loft and there I had many things. I moved again into another loft and I got rid of even more, each time feeling more and more free. Then I moved into the space I live in now and I got rid of everything except what I needed to make my art. I kept my books and a few random dishes and clothing. People now feel inspired to give me things, but they are usually off the street and turned into art pieces and then when I feel like leaving, they will get left behind. I like the freedom of not having to worry about things. The more you own, the more it owns you. I would like to wander the world. The more I have, the less I wander and the more I am stuck to my ways, my things, my material possessions.
Now, with technology I can make things digitized. Less things, less items, more freedom. The more I can remove, the more space I can have in which to think and dream. People come over and they are usually shocked. They expect me to live in some posh house. Even if I had tons of money, I would rather have a few Zen spaces across the world. I want to focus on creating, on wandering, on learning, not on cleaning houses. My parents are a wonderful example. My poor mother spends half her time cleaning. I suppose that influenced me on what not to have or to do. If you live in a massive house with a massive amount of things and you don't have a maid, it consumes you.
To own less is often to explore more. Having less to do besides creating or exploring will help you do so. I wear my jeans till they fall apart. Then I get new ones. What is the purpose of having new jeans all the time? Who cares? So start at your home and clean house. Get rid of things you don't need or really want. Give them away, e bay them, but make room for you.
Now, let's go to your bedroom. Sleeping with the window cracked is really good for you. Even when it's good, crack your window open and the fresh air will really make a large difference on how you feel in the morning.
Let's talk about sleep disorders. Many people seem to have them. First, if you drink anything containing caffeine, it usually takes several hours before it leaves your body, Sugar has the same affect. The best bet is to avoid sugar and caffeine four or more hours before you intend on going to bed. This is one factor. Eating is another. It is best not to eat four to six hours before you go to sleep. If you need to eat and you feel you have to or you can't sleep, eating fruit helps a bunch. Also, it is much better to take a walk, or a bath, or read a book or just lay there in bed in silence than to watch the TV till you go to sleep. I know it's easier to pop on the TV and zone out till you fall out, but it steals very precious things from you. The best thing to do is leave it off and let your mind wind down and/or use other things that are not messing with your brain waves. I never have had issues sleeping, except when I am really excited about something. Or when I was using drugs. But as of the last two years, my lack of sleep has always been voluntary. This is a lifestyle though. For people who can't sleep, it is usually more their lifestyle than anything else. Taking a pill will solve it for the moment, but not long term.
In order to sleep better, it's usually simple things you need to do. Often if you are upset or worried about something, it is hard to sleep, but ignoring those things will only make it harder on you long term. The best thing to do if you are worried or upset is to understand why. Then, if there is something you can do about it, do it. If not, then let yourself cry or beat your pillow and I bet that you will then sleep like a baby. When I feel sad and feel worried and if I feel like crying, I will let myself cry and often as soon as I let myself express myself, I find peace and it is a deep peace. Holding things in or back may be tormenting us beyond what we can understand.
One of the main reasons we can't sleep is because in that place between sleep and being awake, there are no distractions. It is one of the most pure connections you can have. Many of us fear that place so we leave the TV on till we fall asleep or we drink till we fall asleep or we do something -- anything -- to avoid that place because in that place, whatever is in your soul will bubble to the surface, like it or not. If there is anything that hurts you, anything that bugs you, anything you long for or miss or feel bad about, if there is pain or guilt, fear or shame, doubt or missing someone or something, it will come up then right when you're in between sleep and being awake. If you ignore this all the time and the only place it could come up is here, you try to avoid being here. So you in ways, do anything to distract you from it like using the TV, drinking, even eating before sleep. Anything to shut it up. Many people don't sleep well because let's say you do well at shutting it up, well then it will come up like it or not during sleep and you will wake up or wont sleep well and the next thing you know, you are taking pills and you are drinking, eating, having sex -- anything to avoid that place.
You know it's a lot easier and cheaper to listen to that voice. I learned that the hard way as usual. I miss being with someone a lot of times when I go to sleep but I know that it is a part of life and I accept it. I have stuffed animals to keep me company. I live by myself and can't have pets because I travel so much, but I miss holding someone so, as corny, as it sounds, I have my pillow and my stuffed animals and it is better than using someone just to cuddle. But sometimes I feel a longing, so I acknowledge the longing and accept it. But I also look at the reason why I am alone. I am alone because I am not ready not to be. So I will take the perks and the downsides all at once. The perks are often forgotten in that moment of feeling alone. Or if I miss someone, I will just let myself miss them and then realize it happened for a reason and I still love them and they are in my heart. Or if I worry about tomorrow, I remind myself to worry about tomorrow tomorrow. If I feel just worn out and sad or drained, I will let myself have a little crying time. Why not? It's a human emotion. Crying is good for you. It's a release, like sex or anything else.
I sleep well because I let the little voice become a big voice. Also, I found that if you open up to hear it and understand why, then often if you ask your dreams to help you, your subconscious mind, which is very powerful, will kick in and help. More than once I, by seeing what hurt and then asking my dreams or God (depending on your perspective) and then thinking about it, found that the dream would be very positive and helped me work out things that I couldn't work out in my conscious mind.
Dreaming is very powerful. When I miss someone, I will often visit them in my dreams. There, I can cuddle and lay there. There, I can have conversations. There, I can see the future and the past side by side. There, I can remember that there are no limits, no rules, no real boundaries. The only ones that exist are those we place on ourselves.
Dreaming is good for you. Not dreaming is robbing yourself of half your life. But in order to dream, you have to allow that place to exist between sleep and dreams. It is in that place that you can connect the dream world to the real world. I like to sleep eight to twelve hours when I can, but I spend half that time in the in-between place. Often though I only get four to six hours. My dreams suffer when that happens. They are not as vivid or as intense.
If you want to help your dreams be more intense, I have found 5HTP as well as hot wine really helps you sleep like a baby. Both are harmless and help you sleep. Both also seem to help me have much more vivid and intense dreams. Dreams are vital as an artist. As a human being, many of us don't dream often or don't remember our dreams and I think that is because we can kill them. Killing dreams is simple - it's a matter of just not allowing enough time between sleeping and waking up. You need that space between being awake and being asleep to catch the dreams and bring them into the present, real world or at least what you think is the real world. The only way to do that is to allow your body to wake up on its own and not have to jump out of bed to be somewhere or do something. Now, this means in an ideal world that you leave eight to twelve hours of sleep time. I often sleep less and I don't like sleeping less but it is just the amount of things I have to do which keeps me from sleeping more, but I have found that if I sleep less, I can still catch my dreams. It is just a little more work. If you sleep less than the time it takes to sleep and wake up and fall between sleep and awake long enough to catch your dream and bring it with you, then the other option is to do what I do. I do all I can to keep the first 30 minutes silent -- no thoughts, no people talking to me, nothing. I try to stay in that place between being awake and asleep. If I have to take a shower or go somewhere, I try to stay there. I have found that if you can keep your mind in that space, even if your body is doing something, you can often wait and the dream will come back to the present. Once you have the dream in view, search it, write about it, look at it. Then, once you have what you want, you can snap into a full alert state.
I have a rule with people who don't know me well. Those who know me well know that the only thing I want to talk about in the morning is my dream. At least for the first half an hour. If people start talking about what I have to do or telling me to get up and get moving, I tend to be a bit disturbed. Dreams are very vital to me as a human and I treat them like a spiritual part of my life which means I make room for them and try to respect them.
People who dream tend to be more centered, sane and stable. People who don't get the sleep that their bodies want tend to have high rates of depression, anxiety and so on. Sleeping is when your body connects to the spiritual world and is fed. Sleep is when your body can heal. Sleep is when your energy is refilled. Sleep is as vital as water. Good sleep is important for your health and happiness.
Sleeping is not wasting time unless you choose to ignore the layers of it beyond what you have to. If you learn how to allow yourself to explore and to enjoy that place between sleep and being awake, if you allow yourself to feed your dreams, remember your dreams and explore your dreams, you will be opening up a whole new world. You will be adding another life to your life.
I don't watch TV because it pales compared to my dreams and the waking visions that I have in that space between sleep and being awake. I would much rather take a ride into a spiritual imagination where there is nothing being jammed down my throat. I would much rather explore the unknown through my imagination and the spiritual world beyond myself than turn on a box which only really wants to sell me something. Sleep to me is not a waste of time. I used to think it was but then I discovered how the dreams and the visions helped push my mind and my imagination.
My ideas for albums, paintings, networks, all of my ideas tend to come from that place when my mind is not being worked to death. When my mind is free is when it is like a child and it pops up and says "look! look what I found!" That is an amazing thing. We only use two percent of our brains so by adding in that space and opening up to dreams and also to our subconscious, we are opening ourselves up to our spiritual selves. We are freeing our imagination. We are giving ourselves a gift that is far beyond anything you can buy at a store or off the internet.
For my sleeping environment, I like having a window open. I also tend to like to burn incense and candles. It is a ritual for me. I like the sound of running water. Sometimes I will use music that is created to open up the shakras before I go to sleep. I tend to meditate before I go to sleep. In meditation, you often explore the same things which will come up in that space between sleep and being awake, but in meditation, to observe is the focus. I tend to want to observe and question although by the continuation of observing, you tend to find the answers to your questions. That I believe is because the soul has no concept of time. So, if we listen to it, we will often be guided on the path we need to be on. If we are not on the path though, the soul will let us know. This is often disruptive and often we don't want to hear it, so we try to shut it out, but by trying to shut it out, you are cutting off a massive part of yourself. You may as well go and chop your arm off because you are essentially doing just that. Being open to these things means coming to terms with the things inside of yourself you may think are bad or ugly or painful or too much to handle, but they're not. Rather, they are all lessons. Pain comes to teach us, so we understand; not to kill us, but, rather, to make us stronger. By allowing ourselves to look at the pain and look at ourselves, it is the first step to moving through it and learning from it.
Each and everyday I have this time to look and examine my life as well as how I feel inside. This is when I learn my lessons. It is my homework. It is how I memorize, how I come to understand. It is what makes me grow. I grow when I listen. Sometimes I don't like the lesson, or I don't like the teacher, or I don't like the pain, or I want something now and I can't have it, or I want to do something and I know it would cause harm. Sometimes the lesson is not pleasant. Sometimes it makes me want to be angry or sad. Sometimes it challenges everything I believe. Sometimes, most of the time, this is a test to make me grow, to make me see, to cleanse me. These tests happen all the time. Usually there are two choices -- go with your soul or go against your soul; the truth or the lie, the hard way or the easy way. These tests all but dissolve if you can't hear your soul in the first place. And that explains why many feel stuck in a loop in the same old thing, why people don't grow or change. It is often because it seems they are stuck and they get stuck because they have no test because if you always are just following the other voice besides your soul, there is no battle. No battle often means less pain and growth, but the only way to fight is to be able to see and understand what your fighting and why. The only way you can do that is if you are aware of the battle and if you can see and feel it.
Awareness of your own soul and voice is the first step to being able to see and find truth. There are many ways to feed this. Sleep, dreams and meditation are some of them. We live in a world where silence has been replaced with noise. This noise covers our inner voice. The only way to hear is to turn off the noise at least enough to start remembering how to hear.