i wait for you
i close my eyes
i fall into
your skin
in my dream
but you're
only there
in my spirit
state
i sit here and
i think of you
i wonder
are you happy
are you thinking about
me
you told me
you loved
me
i know you'd never lie
but i wish
i could
curl my fingers
around your hand
put my hand
over your heart
i was miss
unattainable
miss untouchable
miss no one
could catch me
or hold my attention
or connect to my connection
then i met you
the email
the letter
i almost missed
that changed my life
because now
when i don't have you
i don't want
anyone else
so now i am forced to be
alone with myself
alone with no one else
i climb to the sky
to speak to the high
to look from dreams
to wonder if i will
be able
to drag them down
to light fires
like you set
beside the bed
everytime
we made love
you would light the candle and
look at me
and i felt you
looking through me
you saw past my walls
past my scars
past all that i felt
no one could see
you saw
all the little things
inside of me
that no one else
cared to see
you looked
you cared
so many with me
it was always about
them
what could they take
so many broke my heart
because they lied
they broke my trust
they couldn't be honest
always told me
they loved me
then would buy me flowers
fill my head with words
words
meaningless
empty words
and they would never care
enough to
tell me the truth
then when i would push them
to be real
to be there
to be deep
to be honest
they would slam the door
or disappear
so i would walk
with my head high
to the sky
even inside
i felt the burning
i just want someone
i can tell all my secrets too
i just want someone
i could share my life with
i just want someone
who really cares
i don't want to be caged
i don't want to be owned
i don't want to own
i don't want to cage
go where you please
do what you need
as i will do the same
that's love
i wanted someone
i could break down in front of
or laugh with while running in circle
i wanted someone
who i could wrap my little
finger in their hair
and whispher softly
goodnight
angel
i wanted someone who could see
past all the things
i went though
or did
or will do
or will go through
i wanted someone to accept me
push me
challenge me
not someone to serve
me
all these men and boys
sit on the ground and
kiss my feet
and kiss the ground
and they bow down
they send me flowers
they send me candy
they promise me
the moon
the stars
the cars
the fame
the money
they all
want a piece of me
in exchange
but my heart can't be a whore
so i tell them the truth
you can be in love with me
but my heart got shot
a bullet with a string
and it's there
and i wont cut it
because
it is the only
true one
you offer me things
you offer me
ideals
you offer me
things
i don't want your things
i don't want your diamonds
your rings
your bling
bling
i want truth
i want truth
and i know truth
in me
and that is
i fell in love
and it's not with you
who bow down and kiss my feet
if you cant stand up to me
you can't stand next to me
if you can't be honest with yourself
how can you be with me
so i sit
here alone
months
pass
and i still
have a whole heart
you went your way
but you didn't leave
i went my way
but i didnt leave
my heart grows fonder
now you're gone
makes me cherish
the time i had
the moments
on the beach when you
made love to me
the moment when we
danced drunk
till we came home
and you took me
to places i read about in books
the moments
in the shower
with the water
and the time
lost
in that
place
the times
on sunday mornings
staring at your ceiling
you open your beautiful little
heart and letting me in
then you running to hide under
your bed again
but i wait
and i don't think
my heart can betray
what i knew
and you tell me
i can go where i please
and do as i please
and i am free
and i am free
and i wander the world
the rooms
and the more people
i meet
the more eyes
that look at me and lie
the more boys that kiss the ground
i walk on
the more
i want to be
with you
and not them
and they try
and the more they try
the more i look at them
and say
what do you not understand
i am in love
and it's not you
and i feel like this is
some love story
they will write about
how a woman fell in love
and would walk places
where people dont walk
for love
they look at me
question me
i don't care what they think
i don't care what they say
my heart
wont betray love
all my life
i said
just something true
i made a promise if it came to me
i would treasure it
and protect it
and honor it
and respect it
and not break it
or smash it
or lie to it
or leave it
or abuse it
or throw it away
and i found it
and so i honor it
i respect it
and people say i am a fool
what if he never comes
back to you
what if he
never loved you
what if he can't love
you what if
you wait for
and he doesn't return
then i will wait
and i know he is there
fighting his battles and going
after his dreams
and i will do the same
and they look at me
and say are you happy
yes
because i knew love
i tasted truth
we had moments
most never know
because they settle for the
cheap trick
the quick fix
so they look at me
ask me if i am ok
i am happy
i am well
i miss him
i will continue to
but i wont let
you try to use it
to put a chain on my neck
so i put them in their place
i look over the sky
we share the sky
the sea
the sun
the moon
time will pass
love never dies
he gave me
truth
it was true
there is no question there
i walk
alone at night
i did it for years
i fight alone
i sleep alone
i dream alone
i like alone
i would rather
be alone
than with someone
that was based on need
i don't need anyone
i only will love for love
not need
so i wander down
the time
through life
follow my dream
my vision
and let it
take its course