The Lost Model
It was about 2 years ago when I first became aware of this model or should I
say artist. Unlike any other I had seen before or since, this particular model
seemed to defy definition.
On one hand, not your stereotypical by the book definition of blond blue-eyed beauty nor just your average pretty face. Instead, as I probed her website, which is more like artwork, than website, I began to see a much deeper much more complex image begin to appear. No longer just a very beautiful face but a full-on mystery moulded like clay, different from image to image.
As I clicked from page to page and image to image I felt like I was entering a world not a portfolio, an existence not a website. As I looked deeper and deeper into the seemingly endless vast of images and expressions and tones I soon began the realization that I don't think I really could ever truly describe or ascertain who she was or more so who she wasn't.
Fast forward to December 26, 2002. One day after Christmas and what sits in my email box? "This is my Christmas Gift to the world++++Direct from the muse ++++ works from 2002++++".
A sign? It must be.....
N2F Gallery
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Interview
By Alex Chaney
1. Jillian or Muse or Lost
model, let's start from the top and ask the obvious, what are you known to the
world as?
I am what I am, you can interprite it in anyway you please....
2. Could you paint us a
clear mental picture as to what are you or consider yourself to be, a model,
an artist, an adventuring soul?
I am a dreamer and a visionary , i have been givin many outlets to use for the
purpose of communicating and expressing my soul.
Deep inside the thing that has pushed me to the ends I have gone has always been a deep passion for music and the creation of it.Being aware of the power of music it was never something I was willing to turn over to anyone else.
So in order to protect it, to keep it true and pure I utilized every other gift and spent years developing skills that in ways can create not only the music but create a way for it too reach from my soul to your headphones. Understanding that I had the gift of good looks and fairly adapt mind I used it to build a foundation for the the future.
So I suppose I would say I have been blessed with the ability to become almost anything, as well as the ability to absorbe and utilize knowledge and information at a fairly decent rate.
3. What got you into modeling
and what are some of the most intriguing adventures you've been on?
The doors opened and I went in. What I found on the otherside was a bit less
of a fairy tale then I first imagined.
I started at 15 and got caught into the drugs and games. I had to walk away for sometime and then I returned only to find myself in another less then fairy tale land. But I countinued I moved up regardless of the hunters and the slaps across my face.
The modeling indutry is like all things, there is an equal amount of evil as there is good. If you walk on the right path you can experince beautiful people, places, and see some of the most amazing things in the world. If you get caught in the wrong circles your life can become a living nightmare of drugs and abusers with million dollar houses and Versace suites.
I recently spent two months in Italy and worked with some amazing photographers and saw some of the most beautiful sites in the world.The plus side of being a model is everyone wants you everywhere which has opened many doors for both my music and art. There are millions of stories so I have been writing a book with all of them because they all belong together.
4. Your site is at times very dark and always thought provoking and almost never
do you smile. What are you trying to get across?
How many of the smiles you see on the internet, on TV,in commericals are real?
I made a decision not to join the rest of the world in the game of doing what you think other people want you to do. I smile when I feel the urge, when it is real. I will not greet you or anyone with a fake smile. I would rather say nothing at all then say something I dont believe.
The point is for you to take from it what you will and see what the point is too you, because I can only create the art, I cannot create the reaction or control the interpatation.
5. Could describe yourself,
and I mean your inner inspirations that make you who you are?
My inner inspiration hasent changed since I was a child, it has always been
the same something stronger then the world, stronger then brokeness, stronger
then addictions, it is a love a passion for humanity, for peace, for love, for
hope...........it is enough to drive me to the ends of the earth and the darkest
holes at times and back. It is finding beauty in the ordinary, it is not giving
up or giving in.
It is the core of all I am, in ways the work comes from the inside out.
6. If you could describe
your most perfect day. A day in which everything was perfect, how would be go
and where would you be?
I would wake up next to my love, stay there in the warmth till I had to move
into the kitchen, where I would share tea and morning coversation. Then go out
and take a walk by the river or in the park in the City. Afterwards go and sit
and write for an hour and think and absorbe what is around me. Meditate for
a half an hour and then start working on music. Of course on a perfect day God
shows me peices of heaven in music. Lose myself in creation till I break open
and my soul comes out and it is captured immortally in sound. Then once I am
finished ( which never comes) go and make a few phone calls connect to the ones
I love. Then of course open my email and find a new dreamer who found me or
find another artist who creates from the heart. Then go back and mediate and
plug back in again. Then walk over the bridge while staring at the city of dreams,
back to love and then go out and explore the world with another dreamer. I suppose
a perfect day for me is more about the emotional, spiritual and creative aspects.
So in ways I have them often these days, in fact lately most days are beautiful
each more then the last.
7. What is your definition of funky?
funky = anyone who is willing to do something diffent, unique, go against the crowd....
8. What makes you funky?
what do you think makes me funky?
9. What should we expect
from you in the coming year and who should we keep and eye out for?
Lots of things, music, art, images, film, ...........there are many things falling
together, more each day. The best way to keep in touch is to keep watching the
site and I also have a mailing list of sorts, although I only do a mailing once
every couple months.
10. Now it's your turn for
verbal release. What do you want to say to the Never2Funky family?
If there is one thing I have learned the truth will set you free and the worst
decisions are the ones you never make.
food for thought
- Jillian Ann
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