At an early age I knew my calling I was a drug addict and music was my drug as long as I was listening or making music I was ok. At an early age my musical talent was recognized, I began to develop it. I did extremely well in piano and voice, I spent most of my time singing or listening to music. I discovered the power music had on people, I learned how to control enviorment with music, how if I played one thing people would feel one thing and if I played another they would feel something else. It was difficult because no one else my age had any idea of what I was doing or trying to do or creating. Just when I wanted to throw myself in the river because I thought that I was mad and not gifted David showed up. He understood my gift and who I was. No one else has ever understood to the extent he has and continues to. I have a gift and I am more protective over that gift then anything else. I would die before I let the gift be used for destruction, music is powerful. I have done a great deal of research on music and its affects on people on society on the world. Music is powerful because it is the language of the soul, music makes you feel. Music changes you music is a part of you music penetrates you music can bring you closer to God or it can leave you confused and trying to stick knives in your head. I have been watching things since I was a child watching the world, watching the currents the trends the movements. But I suppose I don’t watch in a normal way I watch through the spiritual world and the motion always starts there and then spreads outward. Back to my madness I used to think I was mad but most of my feelings my gifts of foresight have been correct. Now back to the gift, I was a little girl who felt she had a little box inside with music I hear and have heard my whole life. Some of it has slipped out but only bits. There are many people who see that box and who have tried to get it out. Most of them have the wrong motives or they wanted the box for themselves. I made a decision when I was 18 the gift was a gift, it was given to be shared, not to be bought or owned. So I worked endless hours to save enough money to buy thousands of dollars worth of music gear and then thousands of dollars to move to New York. During the year it took me to do it I learned more then I ever wanted to know about the world, and what it would do if you let people push you around. Needless to say when I moved into my loft in New York and sat there looking over the skyline with my Triton in the room I cried for days. Because the world beat me up but it didn’t matter, none of it mattered, the only thing that mattered was in that room and the fact I made it. Needless to say there are many mistakes I made and many I wont so easily make again. Then David came and we made “lost” I was sitting on the floor crying because I felt lost for awhile there because I didn’t think I would make it. For six months I worked on growing, on getting better, stronger. Then we started BETA, BETA was my introduction to producing, and David taught me so much. I will never finish learning. Then god dropped some angels into our little world and the work continued. So did the education from our teachers. After three months we went our ways again, David returned to Atlanta to care for his mother and I moved close to the city to work on growing even more. I was still running from the gift, people kept telling me, “ music will always be there just focus on modeling” I went to Milan, I cut off all of my communication unless it was the few who don’t try to tell me how be something I am not. In Milan day after day who I am and what I am supposed to do with my life because so clear it consumed me, it consumed me to the point it erased all of the fear I had. Fear of big bad ugly mean evil things stealing the gift. Because that has always been my greatest fear. Surprise my greatest fear wasn’t dying, or being hurt physically or mentally my greatest fear was giving my gift to those who would use it to further destruction. What? Back to madness, if I am going to create something that you play over and over again and again in your head I don’t want to make anything that could hurt you. So understanding the ability to influence and affect people through music has made me hyper aware. I have done my research I have observed crowds of people and how music affects them, how the energy changes how it travels. From the Goth scene to the rave, rock, metal, lounge, disco, house, classical, churches (music desperately needs some updating) you name it I watched it I breathed it I dove into it drank it in felt it and saw how it affected me and others. Basically I didn’t want to end up selling my soul for money and making music that was as empty as I would have been. So I decided to work in other ways to pay for it so I could keep the music true. I suppose David and I have always had the same passion about protection. It carries over when we work with other artist and someday it will carry over too you. So while in Milan I realized I had learned enough lessons about how to protect myself and stand my ground and therefore be confidant going out and throwing my soul out on the table. I also found I am what I am and nothing is going to change that so I might as well stop fighting it and go with it. In Milan I made the decision to stop hiding it, stop running, stop fearing how I would survive, I woke up I already survived. So I made the decision to put all of my energy into it, all of my soul. I also made the decision to stop trying to please the world; the world is a mess I don’t care to please it. I create to give; I serve out of love, out of passion, out of feeling. I made the decision that developing my skills my gifts and creating with integrity and passion and truth came first. So I returned to New York and I know I have years and years of things I must do and things that I love to do that make me not crave anything else. So now I have a plan a vision and I just take each day and work away at it. I want to share it with those who understand it, some do, David does and lately I have been meeting some who understand it, those who understand it seem to find me or I find them. Either way it is building itself. I am just a part a piece of the pie. Of something much better and more beautiful then I. Somehow I got sucked into it, each day I wakeup now and wonder how it could be real because the doors just keep opening and things keep falling out of the sky. So anyways it is December I have spent all month working on the groundwork for the next phase. I am going to Atlanta for sometime to see my family because I know if I don’t go now it may be awhile because I feel it. I am also going to make music with the boys, (David, Jonathan, Ian) and I am also going to take 200 cds and go back to all the people I left behind and give them something because that is why I make music. For people to hear it, for people to feel it. To give it too the people. Then I will come back and go back to work. And try to find pianos in the city because I have to play. I was playing at FIT a few days ago and people kept coming in and listening. I played for hours I was so high I could see heaven afterwards I felt like I had been given a really strong dose of morphine. But now (there is a mouse in my roomJ that is Brooklyn for you) I don’t think I will be able to stop. Which brings me to another thing, I don’t think it is possible for me to stop now, at least until I am dead or removed. I still have along way to go and a lot to learn but the journey is the most amazing part and being a writer/multi media junkie you are invited to follow me along the way