moments
pass by
i wonder
where went my life
i try to catch it
but it burns into ashes
like ciggarets
as you smoke them and it
hits the ground
and it dosent even make a sound
like the sound of my heart
as someone shreads it apart
with words not with a knife
but it feels the same
this pain never wants to go away
is it being alive
i feel like i am writing a bunch of depressing stuff
maybe i should go take some prozac
so i can be happy
all the time
i can fix my life with a pill
my life is fine
i just sometimes
feel things that are not
like opening  a christmas present
or maybe it is like opening a christmas
gift you never know what is on the otherside
i feel like there is so much i want to express
yet it wont come out
i need to reach my hand in my throat and pull it
out
out from within
its done there
is this growing up
reconnecting
the child with the adult
the lover and the fighter
the mother and the whore
the saint and the sinner
i sit
and i try to reconnect
i wonder how much life
i lost
in a state of
unawareness
time
so rapidly
turning to ashes
like they do when you smoke
flicker to the ground
gone
gone
so long
goodbye
what happened to my life
it is gone
gone
passing by
stop
i want to stop
it