Jillian Ann --------welcome to the the real world of dreams or a world were dreams become real---Jillian Ann= musician-writer-model-muse-artist-creator-visionary-------

Lessons

Lesson 1

    I've never seen the sky this blue. God said, "I created this for you."

    I sit thousands of miles away from the city of the lost angels. In another lost city. The sky is a sanctuary, as are the stones, the trees, the concrete, subway, streets, the cafes where I never eat (only drink one cup of coffee – not to drink, but to write). I am forgetting drinking, eating, writing, seeing, feeding on another life force. Walking, listening, seeing, perceiving. Flesh decays, melts away, leaves only the soul which flies with no sense of time, no strings, no fears, nothing to hold it behind. Like music sung out of the mouths of angels that is only heard in silence, in the soul, in the still unless you live in silence, in peace because silence is only a state of mind. It is not a thing. It is, rather, the silence of the mind. When the mind is silent, you can hear the soul. In the soul, you have no limits, no time, no stings. The soul can move in ways unexplained. It is the pure form of our energy.

    Inside the subway, the streets, the stairs, on the stones, cement, wood, carpet, it's all the same place – high, low, New York, Milan, Paris, Atlanta, past, present. Two lives. The life of the soul. Let the soul use the mind to communicate the language of the soul, of the heart, of truth, integrity, freedom.

Lesson 2

    Yesterday in McDonalds, I saw a woman who looked like my Aunt Evie, who died when I was 15. I remember her love now. I remember her inspiration. As I sat there, I thought of her looking down at me from heaven and she would send me some love. Now, as I sit, I saw a dog that looked like my dog from childhood. The boy from Israel tells me he is a blessed child. He speaks of how the Jews have come out of persecution only to turn around and become the persecutors. He speaks of Israel and its self-destruction. I speak of things I won't go into or else I'll run out of paper.

    The language of the soul is powerful. Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's. Give the system what you have to.

    I tried to ignore this. I knew I shouldn't have so I didn't listen once. One small thing and then I was caught. I learned my lesson. The worst part is I had warnings and I did it anyways. It was one subway ride. One. And I was in a hurry and didn't want to stop and get a ticket, so I just went through and, of course, I was stopped. They didn't speak English. They also didn't care that I was a tourist. It cost me a good slap in the face. My lesson learned. Even if you hate the system because it is controlling, you still have to be honest, moral and do the right thing. Lesson learned.

Lesson 3

    But I suppose sometimes the only way to learn is to suffer the consequences. In the years I've learned so many lessons. Each one has been different, but it always in one way or another goes back to honesty and truth.

    I sit here now in the center of Milan. I came here because a door opened. I didn't know why or what my purpose was. The less care I have regarding the trite things, the more I accomplish. Of course, I remember to eat and sleep. I think of David and hope he can hear me from here sending him an overflow of energy I'm experiencing. Just as I hope B, who is in silence, can feel this. I wish everyone I knew everywhere could feel this. Every human. Everyone. I wish I could somehow give them this. It's better than any drug and sex, any car, anything I've ever had and it's not something that will run out. No, it goes on and on and only grows.

    It's free. No price tag. No hidden side effects. It's better than any speed I ever did. It's real. No one can take it unless I allow it. No one can make me go broke or destroy my career. No one can touch this because this means more than any of that. This means more than mountains of gold or loads of drugs, sex, pleasure. This is better. It's sweet. It's lasting. I've had both and can say there is no comparison. None. Zero.

    I do not understand how people think this could be negative or bad or undesirable. It's so utterly profoundly beautiful, stirring, alive.

Lesson 4

    It's so amazing and yet people are afraid of it, hide from it, ignore it. So scared to try it, but it's not their fault, I suppose. Rather, they are just caught, lost, led the wrong way for teachers and leaders that have no real concern for anything but their own good, their own praise and redemption, their own selfish glory.

    People se them and anyone ca see a dead soul. You may not know that is why you are so attracted, but you can see death. There are many, many dead souls in religion. Some are the heads, but there are many dead souls everywhere. I, for one, believe a soul can be brought back from the dead and no one is hopeless. No one. I don't believe anything is hopeless.

    Regardless, religion is not properly reflecting the amazing beauty and inspiration, energy, enlightenment that comes from knowing God and His love. His love is not like anything else known to man, It is fire, water, air, speed, energy, passion, compassion, empathy, blood, tears, sweat, sacrifice. It is so much that words do not do it a bit of justice. Yet the hypocrites, the modern day Pharisees, parasites don't show that. They walk around picking specks out of humanity's eyes and have somehow forgotten Jesus and the whole reason He came down here was to put an end to all of that. But, no, they forget it for their own selfish reasons.

    I'm not saying all or everyone does. I am speaking of those who have, not those who remember the truth and live by it.

Lesson 5

    I have yet to find a church or cathedral that reflected the energy, the love that is beyond words. Rather, I have found people sullen, dry, cold, not alive, not warm, not joyful. I find people who live in guilt and shame, not freedom and joy. When will they see it's overdone? It's been over for 2000 years. When are you going to wake up? You don't have to grovel on your knees your whole life. You have been forgiven. Be joyful. Accept it. Accept the love and let it fill you. Let the sheer power and beauty of the power, the glory, the beauty fill you. Stop worrying, stop being afraid. It's done, done, done. Paid for. You don't have to pay for it and it is and always will be paid for. Everything you have done or ever will do is already known and paid for.

    There is no need to live in guilt or fear. It's over. Do you go to a church to be sullen? Go to a church because you want to praise Him, to thank Him, to enjoy it, to love others, to fill others, to let that love grow, to expand, to fill the people and then don't stop. I detest people who treat church like a chore or a routine or a weekly habit. Don't go unless you want it or you're a liar.

    Maybe that's why the church is so stale. Because people are there out of duty. Duty? God is everywhere – in your car, in your bed, in your office, in the bars, the clubs, raves, strip clubs, on the set, in the air, in the ocean. You aren't "going to God" by going to church.

Lesson 6

    God would rather you locked yourself alone in a closet where no one can see you if you're having problems than to go and wait and feel that you're supposed to go to a church to talk to or be with God. God wants you to talk to him directly. Once again, that is why Jesus came to destroy the wall, the barrier, the bridge. Don't spit in God's face by treating Him like a policeman. If He gave up the most important and precious thing to him for you, don't you understand that he loves you? Love is the greatest drug that can move mountains. Love is the most powerful force in the world. It is a love that goes beyond any drug or any amount of money.

    Enough for now. My hand is hurting as usual.