Healing and Forgiveness -- inspired by a dream

WARNING: My dream was trippy and some of you may not dig it.

It was sometime in the near future. The world was dark. I am guessing this darkness, now that I have noticed it, is only in dreams that are dark or about dark, demonic or destructive things.¬Ý It stands for a spiritual state more than a physical state.

So the spiritual state of the dream was heavy and dark. I was in a city as I am now, but the city was dark. New York has a lot of darkness so it could have been a metaphor for here or anywhere. I was living and doing what I usually do, only lots of people were following me.¬Ý This could also be a present thing because my life is public and lots of people follow or watch it.

I was focusing on teaching and creating and helping people. I was outside a lot walking around. Allanah was there, Izzy was there too.¬Ý There were lots of people from my daily life there.¬Ý Sage was there and lots of other people. I can't remember everyone.

But one day this young girl started trying to kill me. She was hunting me with a gun. She was stalking me and always trying to shoot me. She was possessed. I could see it. I could feel it and that was the only logical reason why she was trying to kill me and hunt me. She had it out for me and I had never known her.¬Ý She saw me as the enemy and I had never spoken to her. She had too much knowledge of my life to not know me, and she knew where I was and when I was there in an uncanny way.¬Ý The only logical way for that to be a reality is if someone is possessed because a fully possessed person is controlled by a spirit which communicates with all the other spirits on the dark or light depending on the side of the fence the spirit works for. Which is the reason the girl knew where I was at all times.

People were trying to protect me, but they couldn't because I didn't want them to shoot her. But she was deep inside.¬Ý She was just a victim.¬Ý A lost little girl who had been abused and was taken over to be used as a pawn for a demonic spirit who needed a body to use, to carry out their work.

So, in the dream I was as I am now -- looking at the situation going, "Oh boy, this isn't going to be fun. I have a possessed 8 year old with a gun hunting me. What am I going to do?" Because this wasn't a case like the times I am walking around New York or am in the subway and encounter a possessed person whose house sitter looks at me and spits out some lies, anger or hate and curses me.¬Ý For those people, I just pray for them from¬Ý across the subway car.¬Ý This though was different.¬Ý This was a case of a possessed child who was helpless and being used as a pawn in a game. This was a case of a helpless little girl who was a captive in a spiritual sense to this power and no one had ever tried to set her free.

I was sitting there thinking and I heard a deep inner voice say, "Go and pray for her."

"What?¬Ý Are you nuts? She has a gun and is trying to shoot me!¬Ý What is this dream? Why am I dreaming this? you want me to go and pray for her? But how? Every time I am near her, she is trying to kill me."

Then I heard it again.¬Ý "Go with love and pray for her."¬Ý

"God, she is trying to kill me and you want me to go to her and pray for her? I will get shot."

"No, you won't. I¬Ý will protect you.¬Ý Just have faith."

At this point, I realized I am in some matrix dream and I am feeling like Neo all over again looking for the door to get out of the dream and then opening it and getting ready to jump¬Ý out of my dream and into the world.

I heard it again. "You really don't want to go back, do you?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.¬Ý Fine, I will go."

I don't believe my dreams have become this interactive.¬Ý What is this? Double time training?¬Ý Life isn't enough?¬Ý Now my dreams are an interactive battle ground and special education and training time.¬Ý "OK, God.¬Ý Whatever you say. I will die if she keeps hunting me, so I will go and do what you say."

Now, I know I am no super women in real life or in a dream and as far as laying hands on people and casting out demons, it's something I try to avoid, yet seems to be bouncing up.¬Ý

So in the dream, I walked around and followed the inner guide till I found the girl.¬Ý Then I felt the super fence field of energy and I just said. "OK, God. I am all yours. This is strange, but whatever..."

And then I am walking to her and I get to her and she just is staring at me, through me, and I am looking back at her.¬Ý I am just sending the little girl all the love I have and know and I go up and I take her hand and put my hand on her head and she is just staring at me and all is quiet. Then I hear the voice inside urge me to say it.

OK, here goes nothing. "In the name of God, leave."¬Ý Her eyes start going buggy and I know that her internal friend is not happy.¬Ý Then I know that I have to go further.¬Ý "In the name of Jesus Christ, leave.....now.......you have no authority to be here or be in her."¬Ý Her face got strange, and then all of a sudden she fell into my arms and hugged me.¬Ý She smiled and looked around and then she thanked me and I told her to go and be free.¬Ý She then walked away and never was the same girl.

Now people had stopped.¬Ý People were watching and lots of people saw what happened.¬Ý I walked away thinking oh boy what's next?

Then the dream was over.

Reality check!¬Ý It was a dream, but yesterday I went to see a friend who has been hanging out with this so-called healer. I am very skeptical of people who are healers and go around calling themselves healers. I don't remember any of the real healers going around labeling themselves as healers.¬Ý Other people would label them healers, but they wouldn't label themselves as one because it's not their power.

There are a lot of people into witchcraft and who are not even aware of it. There are a lot of people making up their own spiritual religions because they want all the power, all the goods and don't want to give up anything. They only want the so-called gifts and power from God and don't want to let the ego die.

The honest truth is that a lot of what they are doing is not healing. It is nothing more than like drinking a martini or taking a hit of e. Drugs are just chemicals that alter your state. They make you feel good but the feeling is FAKE. It is not real.¬Ý It is a LIE. This is why in my book drugs are not good for you. They make you feel something, but it's not based on truth. It's based on altering your chemical, internal state. I like truth so I stopped altering my inner chemical state except for caffeine and sometimes if I am feeling naughty, coffee.

I want to be in the now and experience life as truth and real and not have a constant distortion for a perspective. Messing with spirits is like taking drugs.¬Ý First off, you really don't know the long term effects.¬Ý You start praying and worshiping these gods, these spirits.¬Ý You don't know (a) who you're really worshiping or (b) what your God wants from you long term.

My friend went to one of those places where a bunch of people get together and call the spirits from the north, the south, the east, the west.¬Ý He was telling me that and I looked at him.¬Ý "Dude, did you ever study witchcraft?"

He looked at me.¬Ý I know and he said that he knew.¬Ý "OK, just checking."

Energy work is a dangerous place in many ways because it is like a spiritual drug. It makes you feel real good and for a long time it may make you feel real good, but let's just go over two things. Only God can heal you.¬Ý Only God can make you better and God will do it with or without a human channel. Energy work is channeling energy.¬Ý If you do it from a place of a pure heart and out of love for the person and you're praying over their body, that is one thing. I have done this, and I still do it.¬Ý But, to me, doing energy work is on a level of intimacy that I am not comfortable sharing with strangers.

I tried it as I do all things and came to these opinions based on experience. I have people who pray for me. I have people who give amazing massages and I have people I am comfortable with touching me.¬Ý People I trust enough to know that they wont leave a string on me. The problem is that because the person who is doing energy work is channeling and your energy is being fused, if they have anything attached to them, it is like having sex with your energy.

Here is one of the reasons I am finding it less and less attractive. Most of the healers I have come across have not healed themselves. They are not whole.¬Ý They are not one with God.¬Ý Their lives are full of anger and suppression and pain and loneliness and they often have bigger inner demons than meet the eye. I'm not judging them, but it's a simple fact -- when you do energy work, it's like giving a blood transfusion. If you have a sickness, you wouldn't give someone you loved your blood. Same concept. No one is perfect but there is a difference between a spiritually sick person or dead person and a spiritually healthy person.

A true spiritually healthy person, a person who is one with God and on the path, will fall down and sin all the time.¬Ý It's normal.¬Ý It's cool.¬Ý Don't worry.¬Ý But they will not give you blood when they're sick. In other words, a healthy spiritual person is one who has done housecleaning and has let go of resentments and forgiven those who harmed them and who aren't hiding a bunch of secrets. A healthy person will get sick, but will go to the doctor and take medicine.¬Ý They wont ignore the sickness. A healthy person is working on getting better and not denying that they are sick.

I am not saying that all spiritual healers are sick. I am saying though that we all get sick.¬Ý We all get run down and we all have bad things happen to us. But if we don't take care of ourselves, when we don't go to the doctor to get healed ourselves, when we give people our energy, we could channel something unaware.¬Ý¬Ý¬Ý¬Ý

I am at a point now that before I let any healers get close to me, I first go to the doctor above who is free and who will heal all wounds and it wont cost a cent. I am not talking about physical illness. If you want to be healthy and whole, the reality is that if you eat right and drink lots of water and get sunshine and take walks and work out and avoid doing things that cause harm, you will be healthier. But sickness is a part of an imperfect world. One of the main causes of illness is due to not taking care of yourself. It's the same spiritually.¬Ý Feelings and situations need to be dealt with. If you are harmed, you need to forgive them and let go.¬Ý Or else that anger and pain will turn you bitter. If you just remember that we all hurt others sometimes and we all need compassion and love, then it's easier to let go. But we then have to self-examine to see if we are holding onto anger and resentment and pain and hate and fear or doubt. If we cling to it, we¬Ýare feeding the sickness.

If you are letting your ego tell you that they were wrong and you have every right to hate or hold a grudge, you have forgotten that we are all wrong and we all make mistakes. To be free from pain that makes us captive, we have to let go. If we live for love and peace, as we often claim to, we can't be holding grudges or clinging to anger or bitterness. When we do that, we are now the ones causing the harm and we are not loving them.

I learned this the hard way.¬Ý For years I had struggled with anger towards my father and other men who had harmed me. I suppressed the anger and on the outside I said I let it go, but deep inside, the hurt and anger ate me up. Then, one day I was with Mittens and he looked at me and told me that I needed to forgive them and let go. Actions speak louder than words and so as opposed to just trying to forgive them on the inside, I took action. I went to my therapist and talked to her.¬Ý Then I went to see my family and I spoke to my father heart to heart and told him how I felt and how I was hurt but how I love him and forgive him.¬Ý And it worked both ways. He told me he loved me and forgave me for the wrong I had done as well. It takes two to tango.

One by one I went through the internal list and those I could see or call or write, I did.¬Ý Those I had wronged, I sent letters to saying that I was sorry and those who had wronged me I forgave. The weight lifted and then I began to understand what being¬Ý free means.

Back to the dream.¬Ý The dream was about forgiving and loving even those that hurt you and how that is the power that will set you and them free.¬Ý That power comes from grace and love. The little girl was symbolic of people who hurt me or tried to hurt me.¬Ý They were lost to sin.¬Ý They were listening to the dark.¬Ý They were not evil; just lost confused and wrong. But we are all like that little girl some days and we all get guns and sometimes misfire them and go hunting for someone even though they aren't our real enemy. The real enemy is anger and hate and a hard heart, not love, truth and compassion.

By letting down my own ego and going to the girl and loving her and reaching out to her, I set her and myself free.¬Ý I followed love and truth and not my ego. I wasn't listening to my ego.¬Ý My ego told me to run, to hide or to lash out and return one wrong for the other, but I was following God or truth or love or whatever you call it. That is why in the end we were both free.

Life is like that.¬Ý We will have crazy little girls and boys with guns who go around shooting us. We can either hate them and be angry and go get our own guns, or we can go to them and love them and let the love dissolve their desire to kill us.
Love -- real love, unconditional love -- is the most powerful force in the universe. Real love remembers no wrongs.¬Ý Real love forgives. Real love lets go and real love never ends even when the person has a gun and is trying to kill us.

True compassion and love is based on the faith that we all will be wronged and we all will wrong others. We cannot judge anyone, and if we are holding a grudge or refuse to let go, we are judging them. We are right and they are wrong. We will always do something wrong.¬Ý We are all in the same boat and we all will sink together unless we see the truth. We all fall.¬Ý We all harm and we all will be harmed.¬Ý But if we help the one who harmed us and love the one who hates us, we are stopping the sickness and cutting off the energy to the darkness that has one goal -- the destruction of love and hope, truth, and beauty.

That is the thought of the morning.

Remember!¬Ý Love comes from God who will fill all our holes and then we can pour it out to those around us. When you feel weak or empty and feel you can't forgive or love those who harm you, go to God and let God fill you and then, because of the love from God to you, let it strengthen you and help you. God is the lover and helper.¬Ý He is the guide and the father.