Jillian Ann --------welcome to the the real world of dreams or a world were dreams become real---Jillian Ann= musician-writer-model-muse-artist-creator-visionary-------

Religion's Destruction on the Reputation of Jesus and the State of Current Youth

    Who gave Jesus the bad reputation? Why do most hear the name and think of fire and hell, rules, laws, standards impossible to live up to? People see a cross and get a bit disturbed. People are afraid to discuss or even say the name Jesus. We can talk about murder, rape, war, violence, mass disorder, bombs, cuss, scream, yell, kill animals, but don't talk about Jesus. When did it become blacklisted – a bad word? And why? I don't intend on being political and/or care if I offend anyone because last time I checked, people were allowed to state their views. I will not say I am speaking for anyone else although I have a feeling that I am. I also have nothing to lose. I have no money, no desire to be a pr4esident, chairman or accepted by any social class, group or any religious organization. If you like, you can send me letter. I have a PO Box and tel me your perspective, or send me little tracts about why I'm going to hell.

    I am not done with my research, nor my observing although at this point, I feel I can justify writing this.

    Jesus was someone I have to say that I respect. I do not respect most organized religions. I see them as more destructive than constructive because churches are ice boxes – cold. Throughout my travels, I have gone into many churches and cathedrals. From Baptist to Protestant, from Catholic to Mormon. They are always the same: cold and distant. In fact, now I get to church and cathedrals more so when they are empty. It is a tragedy that organized religion has become stale like molding bread. Afraid to make any stands. Contributing to the moral decay by hiding, running away from the "EVIL." Yet, evil is inside. Let's cut to the chase.

    Matthew 5:28 – That whoever looks at woman and lusts after her has committed adultery already.

    There are more. If you need me to, I could dig them up but I believe this is enough. All sin is equal. Therefore, the preacher is no better than Marilyn Manson. ( "Sorry Brian. Nothing personal. You're the only public figure I could think of") Therefore, when churches are cold to drug addicts, whores, gay people, people who smoke, drink, wear black, play loud music, have sex, because they feel they are better than them because "they're good," they are lying to themselves. It is easy to look at others'; faults, to harvest our times, our energy on others' shortcomings and downfalls. And in the church today, it seems rampant. "Honey, don't sit with her." "Don't talk to her." Yet, the let the children watch TV. My point is this. Anyone who thinks they're good needs a good hard reality check. Because no one is good. Not all the time. Not most of the time. Most of the time, we struggle to do the right thing, and if we were naturally good, that wouldn't be the case. The church and even more so the Catholic church, are slowly helping Satan along by getting caught in the very thing Jesus came her several thousand years ago to destroy. "The Law," "The Rules," the things you're supposed to do to "EARN" acceptance by Jesus.

    First off, Jesus came here to destroy it because no one could ever be good, holy or blameless. It is not our nature. Now, it doesn't mean that we should use that to go and be a deprived human and blame it on human nature. I personally see the mass destruction and after effects of the churches' and cathedrals' priests' and preachers all over the world because during your attempt to control the youth with fear, guilt and rules, you drove them into hopelessness. Let's face it. As a child, teenager, young adult, you know that you can't follow rules. When you break them and are treated with anger, guilt, hate, detest, and other ways of "punishment," you become discouraged and then feel God/Jesus couldn't ever love you because you're not good enough. So, then feeling you've lost hope, you stop caring, stop trying and for a long time, you feel like a little something is missing.

    But then as you get older and you cover that hole with things like sex, money, drugs, fame, travel, hobbies, baseball, porn, books, running, yoga, obsessions and distractions. The older you are, the farther it gets pushed down. Then, when you're forced to go to church, it's easy to ignore the little tinge you feel because churches are like ice boxes. Ans no one really seems to care. They ask about your day, your job, but do they ask you, "How is your heart doing?" Why? Because they are afraid. Most are terrified of the truth because the truth isn't comfortable.

    The problem is the routine, the system, the organization is comfortable. It is a dead lifeless couch. People co to church because they are told to or because it's something they have been raised to do. It is more than obvious how dead the church is by looking at the world. The amount of suicide, homicide, rape, abuse, drug use, child molesting. Need I go on? Dead. Because the church is a system of organization. It's like dry toast. The youth – the people between 15-30 – are leftovers of the guilt/fear tactics. It is no wonder that most churches will be gone in 30 years. Because 60 to 70 percent of the population is over 40 and in 30 years, they will be dead. The huge million dollar buildings will become clubs and artists lofts, music halls and places for raves.

    So, where are the 15-30 year olds? Well, let's see. We have another church in existence. One that although most wouldn't refer to it as a church, I will take the liberty of doing so. Raves, all night parties, concerts, etc. But more so the all night parties and raves. This is where the 15-30 crowd went or go to. I did. And I watched millions across the world go and they continue to go.

    It is, in a way, the closest thing they could get to experiencing something spiritual. Music is the language of the soul. Here, they could release, open up, cry, dance, move and open their hearts with or without the help of drugs. The movement exploded. I was in it during the early days. I experienced the thrill. I cried night after night with the music, with my body. There, they ACCEPTED me. They didn't JUDGE me. I didn't feel GUILTY. I felt free. Free to dance, to love, to express myself, to be open, real and alive.

    That was the upside. The downside is and always will be the same. Once you leave, once you come down, once you're back from that place, all the hopelessness, gui8lt, the aloneness comes back. So there are a few options. Do it every weekend, every chance you can g and just work enough to get by and then "LIVE ON THE WEEKENDS" or make it a full time lifestyle. Which I did since I was an extremist and was even more so at 17. I tried to keep that place where I felt free, but soon I learned without drugs, without the escape, I was a crying, lost, hopeless human with a hole in my heart. So I did more and more as do many till I OD'ed a few times, sold my car and my body, ended up broke and seriously brain dead. Others died. Many, many died at parties, at home. It wasn't the raves or the clubs, but the lie, the illusion, the false sense of well being that is and always was at some point broken.

    Some are lucky. Some don't get sucked in. Some go once in a while or, as you get older, you see through it. Then your church becomes the stock market or pornography or drinking and pizza. The church of the night of the youth is alive, but it is energy that is not used properly. Just like the religious churches. Religious churches are lacking in movement, in emotion, in feeling, in reaching out and touching people. The other is missing any depth or substance because everything happens with people who are slightly disconnected. Drugs are dangerous to most because people use them to escape or, as I like to say, to disconnect.

    Jesus was about being in touch. About connecting. Drugs will connect you to spiritual things, but often they aren't pretty or healing, but instead are destructive. The soul is like a body. It has to be fed or it complains. Drugs shut it up for a bit. So does gluttony, idle talk, gossip and pornography and soap operas. But it always wakes up. The longer you keep feeding it junk food, the unhealthier it gets until it becomes so unhealthy that it shows in your eyes. Walking dead men.

    Everywhere – the church, the street, the subway – it's a disease. Dead souls walking by. Eyes like burned out light bulbs. Lifeless. Limp. I go to a church and it's there too. More and more. Like a blanket fed by so mo much. Anything used to shut off the soul is not healing, but destructive. Following rules will turn off the soul because if you are too preoccupied with what's wrong and right, you will miss the chance to help another or hear God trying to tell you something.

    Which brings me to talking to God/Jesus directly. As a child, I discovered what for now I will call connecting – like plugging into something. This connection provided me with more than I ever gathered from books, teachers and/or anything here. Hours were passed in prayer, meditation. More often than not I could not understand how to express my inner most parts in words which led to music as well as dancing.

    I do not understand any form of religion that says in one form or another we must and should communicate through another man. Catholics are the one I will use as an example. I am not speaking about people or individuals. Rather, I am speaking of an organization – as system and its rules. If you read The Bible, starting in Matthew, Jesus makes it very clear that we are supposed to communicate with Him and God directly. Don't make me start giving loads of verses. Just read some of it around Chapters 5, 6, 7, 8 and so on and see for yourself.

    Do you think Jesus would have come here, lived with whores, thieves, liars, the lost, the broken, touched the possessed, healed the sick, the lepers, reached out to those religions and society had cast out, spent time sitting on the ground with the ones the world hated, shunned, despised, called worthless? If Jesus and God were cold and distant, detached and only concerned with how good you are or how good you could be if you were holy or righteous, they would have kept Jesus in heaven and not bothered letting Him come down here because he hated organized systems or religions, because he saw back then what it did – corrupted the ones who were in charge, had too much power. The ego, more often than not, would hold itself higher and, therefore, concentrate on the rules, the good, the law. Jesus' very existence was to destroy the law, the guilt, the shame. He didn't come down here to take a vacation. He came here to give humanity hope, to give them a way out, a way to avoid hell, another chance and the only thing He asked was faith. Not works. Works doing good do not come first, but they are the after effects of faith, of love, of mercy, of grace. When someone loves you so much that it cannot be stopped, ignored or turned off, it changes you. When you love someone, you don't want to hurt them and you learn that by hurting yourself, you are hurting those who love you.

    If I loved you more than myself or as much as myself and you mean more to me than anything else in the world, when you hurt yourself, it hurts me. Not because I'm angry and you have been bad, but, rather, because I feel your pain. Now, knowing that, Jesus came down here out of compassion because He wanted to, because He loved us regardless of our nature, regardless of our imperfections, our scars, bruises. He came and religion hated him because if you listen to what He says, He came here to destroy the law. Organized religion thrives on the control they have through the law because no one wants to feel like we are never going to be good enough. But, you see, there is no such thing. Good doesn't even matter. You can be the most fallen lost speck of humanity, but to Jesus, you are a beautiful child.

    It isn't works. It's faith. Jesus didn't say "Go to the priest and talk to me through him." He said, "Come to me. Talk to me. I'm here for you."

    For one thing, no man has the right to tell anyone else he can communicate with God any better than anyone else in the world. Considering that all sin is equal, all people are equal, it is clearly man's manipulation out of ego that has caused man to place himself as a telecommunicator between God and us.

    You don't need it. You don't need a church, priests, a passport, a phone card. Jesus is everywhere. God is in every rock, every tree, every shower, every car, everything. But you have to open up the line, pick up the phone, be willing to allow yourself to take a step of faith.