goodmorning
mr moon
you went away
so soon
i watched you as you graced
past the world which i was
so beautiful to know
cause now your just like the moon
i watch you go away so soon
and its hard for me to think
that maybe you will never
return
and that is why love burns
and its hard for me to think
you may close off your heart
erase all those moments
all those things we shared
its hard to think
that i may have been a fool
to fall in love
but a fool has to do
what a fool has to do
and i cant argue
with what i feel
so now
i stare out the window
i have taken back the habit of
coffee and ciggarets
sleeping on couchs of my friends
so i dont feel so alone
at night because thats the worse
time because i remember
you when i lay down
and i close my eyes
you arms still feel
like there here
and your eyes
still look into me
even though i cant see you
so i stare out the window
i feel my heart breaking
but it will find its way
back up off the floor
put the peices together
its not your fault
i am sensitive
and emotional
its not your fault
that when i love
i love all the way
i cant just walk away
so easily
i walk my heart stays
so then i go on
i go out to dinner
i see my friends
they all tell me they love me
i know the do
i am not alone
this is true
but it makes me miss things more
cause it just makes me
remember
you
and i replace he dreams of love with words
to i am not in love with you
and i try to pound it in my head
he is not in love
he is not in love
you are the one
who was the fool
because
he is not in love with you
why
does it matter
it hurts
all the same
why
will change
only time
can tell
why do i care
because i
let myself fall
hoping he would
join me
but he stayed
looking out over the wall
no i cant
i wont
he said
and i fell
and he stayed
come on with me
but he looked and turned
and walked away
now i sit here
i never gave myself
to anyone like that
and i dont want to give it to anyone else
so what do i do
do i wait and believe in a dream
or do i find a knife and poke holes
in my hands
to let the pain out of my heart
so i can be free
from the things
that scream inside
i refuse to believe it was a lie
but the test of time
is the most difficult for me
and maybe he
will find himself
and maybe i will
find myself
and maybe this is about
us finding
ourselves
but its hard for me
not to be a drama queen
and react to all of this
and to feel like
i lived
in a fairy
tale
now i must move
forward
even though i want to run back
i want to hide under the bed
i want to be in your arms
i want to go back
i want to go back
why cant i go back
but no
i have to go forward
and i dont want to
but i have nowhere else to go
but there
so now
i cry in the subway
and they stare at me
and i dont care
and i strive forward
and they hit on me
and i dont care
i walk wounded
by myself
if i had behaved
if i had stayed away
if i had not let myself fall
get so attached
then i wouldent be crying here
but fuck it all
that is what life is
to live
to love
what else is there
fuck shutting off my heart
fuck giving up
i will cry
i will scream
i will fall in love
and if it hurts me
i will bleed
but i refuse
to shut off my feelings
i refuse to deny
these things
i refuse
die
i want to live
to be alive
so i suppose
this pain is
part of the cycle
part of love
part of truth
and it cuts me
but i dont care
i will keep on believing
because that is all
that is left
to follow my dream
and if your part of it
i will believe in that too
and i will believe
and i will dream
because that is how
i deal with
the reality
that tells me
i cant
i can
i will
i refuse
to give in
i love
i will always love
and i dont care
if it makes me
fall apart
if it rips open
my heart
and dont try to comfort me
or sedate me
or give me things
to make me feel better
all the things
just make me worse
let me be
and let time take
its course
i will come out on the
otherside
even more alive
right now
i just have to walk
on
regardless
of how i feel
i move
i dance
i create
i dream
because
that is what it is
life is a motion
and sometimes
it is painful
to see
the otherside
to fall into
the ocean
to drift
into the
sea
to call out