intertwine concrete
graffiti marked
stalked by the invisible
obsession held
by boys and men alike
trying to make themselves
my type
systematic contradiction
living to find
a true friend under
masquerades
dirty bars
mothers screaming
at their babies
in the back of the car
daddy don't hit me
I will be still
and breathe
silently under the stars
while we drive
down heroin avenue
find me something better
to do with this reality
sitting
staring at chain linked
fences
hold back
tears as divine inspiration
touches the back of my head
glad i am still not dead
each moment gives
so much meaning
lost in frozen
dreams of ice cream
trucks playing
the same tune
till the sky fades black from blue
wandering around
thinking how did
i get here
staring at pictures of myself
in my underwear
seeing the boys turn and stare
walking down murder avenue
ghetto found peace of mind
standing next to those
who could care less
if i was someone other
than me
walking in the rain
drip drop falling
down over my face
makeup smeared
across my face
trying to stay present
in this place
too aware
too awake
wandering across Brooklyn
dancing with lovers
in my mind
to the stairs
men in suits
stand there
badges identify
them as the boys
who call the feds
they walk in
take a seat
in my tattered bean bag
chair i pretend
they are just like
a new friend
asking questions about
someone i knew
if i thought they
would do
once again
drugs messed up a life
why does it have to
be that way
strange feelings
dark memories
creep in
i walk away
no more partaking
in those things
these days
they sit
ask me questions
about him
then about my art
why are there
eyes
everywhere
because God
sees all
it's symbolic
their faces
go to another place
far away from homicide
to Sunday school
deeper places
we all tread
now and then
here is music
stay in touch
rather be friends
than enemies
sitting alone
in my room
life is strange
God I see you
coming up everywhere
I turn my eyes
to the sky
write an essay
then do swan dives
three am
yoga again
open up
then lay down
out comes the heart
the words fall
from my lips
protect them
who do not know
love them
like the love
they never knew
drawing images
of light inside
feeling spirit
fill my soul
till it is over full
flowing like a river
of love and peace
setting me closer to free
wanting everyone
can feel this
better than any drug
I ever took
better high than
all the lines
all the pills
all the thrills
open bleeding
but then receiving
dreaming floating
on air then
the morning came
sunshine flooded
the room
dear God
move the hands
and eyes
so I can survive
dance with angels
dream with heaven
sitting standing
finding tomorrow
dreams that told
me of where i was going
never spoken out
loud because
I may find myself
like David did
in a pit
so i keep them
silent
in my mind
divine intervention
received notices
dreams manifesting
watching reality
bend
I didn't do it
I just sit back
observe
smile
as I see
the doors open
the flood gates
torn down
not by the power
of my scrawny hands
rather I see
it's all about a
much bigger plan
just a piece
of a puzzle
just an instrument
just a part
clouds pass
overhead
sirens scream
as I move
on ice
walking
tip toe
then run
and slide
when I know
it's safe
to play